Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
