And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
