And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
