Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
