Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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