Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I cut my penus on the lid.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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