I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
