I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I could fuck to npr.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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