Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Randomize
