T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize