I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
