I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Randomize
