We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
