so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
