I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
