i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
