im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
It's never too late to be topless.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
