He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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