I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize