Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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