We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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