Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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