Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize