What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
