too bad you live with your parents still
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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