New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
last night I used snow as a chaser
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