Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
