I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
