Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He did a backflip because drugs
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
