He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
