remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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