it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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