are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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