It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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