Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
