he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
