yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
