like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
