I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
