I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
