i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
