I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize