Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
