"it" just moved
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
