you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
