Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
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