Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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