I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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