Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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