just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
