shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
