Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
