Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
