so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
