There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
