Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
