Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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