In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
