I wanna bring you to show and tell
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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