I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
