I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
