i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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