Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
