CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
